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Bolanle Ninalowo on healing, boundaries and self-worth

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Bolanle Ninalowo

Bolanle Ninalowo says self-love replaced people-pleasing and codependency after he saw attachment was not love

Nollywood actor Bolanle Ninalowo said on his social media page that learning to love himself has become one of the most fulfilling parts of his life, after years of people-pleasing and extreme codependency.

Also read: Uzor Arukwe: Working with Funke Akindele is a blessing

Mr Ninalowo wrote that compliments about self-love now cheer him rather than sting.

He said a long habit of choosing others, over-giving and clinging had shown him, in healing, that he had not known how to value himself. What he once named love was, in many ways, attachment.

“When I hear, ‘This man, you too love yourself’. Omo, you have no idea how much it gladdens my heart oo!! As a matter of fact, it is now one of the most fulfilling parts of my existence. Loving and choosing others, people-pleasing, over-giving, and the extreme codependency I lived with for almost my entire adult life made me realise something during my healing journey. I didn’t know how to love or value myself. What I once called Love was, in many ways, simply attachment,” he said.

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He then turned to family patterns. How a person is raised, he argued, can shape love, speech, parenting, boundaries and conflict.

Those patterns need not be handed on. Healing, in his account, is learning to pause, question what feels normal and choose another way.

“But no one talks about ending generational traumas! The way you were raised may have shaped how you love, communicate, parent, set boundaries, and respond to conflict. But you don’t have to pass every pattern down to the next generation. Healing means learning to pause, question what feels ‘normal,’ and choose a different way. You can be the person who breaks the cycle. Understand your trauma. Change your life. There is no shame in healing,” he added.

The post is a personal testimony, not a clinical paper. It does not name a therapist, a timeline or a specific relationship.

Also read: Uzor Arukwe: Working with Funke Akindele is a blessing

What it does offer is a public actor refusing the old joke that self-love is vanity, and asking others to treat healing as work worth doing.

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Celebrity opinion

Olaide Olabanji Laments N1,000’s Falling Buying Power

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Olaide Olabanji

Olaide Olabanji N1,000 concerns highlight the falling purchasing power of Nigeria’s highest denomination amid rising fuel and cooking gas costs (more…)

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Celebrity opinion

Shaffy Bello’s Powerful Plea for Respect From Younger People

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Shaffy Bello

Shaffy Bello respect message urges younger Nigerians to honour elders, as the actress explains why she dislikes casual greetings and first-name address (more…)

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Uche Ogbodo shares candid thoughts on love, marriage

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Uche Ogbodo

Uche Ogbodo love confession explores marriage, age differences and her view that women are increasingly becoming providers in relationships.

Nollywood actress Uche Ogbodo opened up about love, marriage and changing gender roles in an interview with Deacon Famous, reflecting on her relationship with her younger husband and the criticism she faced over their age difference.

Also read: Kazim Adeoti Sweetly Hails Mercy Aigbe as His ‘Forever Crush’

Ogbodo said she was only a few years older than her husband, yet some people assumed she was his mother, a reaction she described as difficult to understand.

The actress used the conversation to discuss what she sees as a significant shift in relationships, particularly the growing financial and emotional responsibilities carried by women.

“In this generation, statistically, I think women are more of providers,” Ogbodo said.

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She argued that women increasingly contribute substantially to the wellbeing of their families, while expressing the view that some men can be emotionally self-focused.

“I think men are emotionally selfish; they care more about themselves than the woman and the children,” she said.

Her comments also touched on her broader understanding of romantic relationships. Ogbodo said she believes the intensity associated with love can change as relationships progress.

“I think love fades over time,” she said.

The actress’s remarks offer a candid perspective on the pressures surrounding modern relationships, particularly for women whose financial or social independence challenges traditional expectations about marriage.

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Her comments about the age difference also highlight the double standards that can surround relationships involving older women and younger men.

While such relationships are increasingly visible, women can still face ridicule or assumptions about their appearance and role within the relationship.

Ogbodo’s comments come against the backdrop of public interest in her personal life and previous marriage experiences.

Rather than presenting her views as a universal rule, her remarks appear rooted largely in her own experiences and observations of relationships.

The actress’s discussion of women as providers also reflects a broader conversation in Nigeria about changing household responsibilities.

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Rising living costs, dual-income households and women’s growing participation in business and professional life have increasingly complicated the traditional idea of men as sole financial providers.

At the heart of Ogbodo’s comments, however, is a more personal question about what sustains love when circumstances and expectations change.

Also read: Kazim Adeoti Sweetly Hails Mercy Aigbe as His ‘Forever Crush’

Her willingness to discuss those experiences has given the interview a revealing human dimension, particularly as she reflects on the realities behind relationships that are often judged from the outside.

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